I hate grief!

A very dear friend appears to be close, days even, to moving into the light, so to speak. I find myself reviewing Kubler-Ross grief steps in my head. I guess I am stuck in anger, while I work through the other stages at the same time. I am so sad over the potential loss of my friend, though the anger helps me keep moving.

I feel the need to remain aware of my underlying anger to stay vigilant for my children, who are also loosing a very dear friend, more like a family member. And then there is the potential widow, also a valued friend. Shoot, I introduced them. "You will love him," I said to her. "You will love her," I said to him, and they did. So much in love and so well suited for each other, the children of both were very upset over the union. One daughter, his last family member living, has been unpredictably manipulative and covertly hurtful. She has just not been a calming supportive person in his life, quite the opposite. She is ready to pounce on my friend's loving spouse. So, some of my anger will be available to help the spouse as needed.

I have seen the worst behavior among family members when someone is expected to pass. I am relying on my anger and experience to aid in supporting my friend's spouse, starting now.

Anger is a useful and exhausting emotion. Anger helps me stay in motion and moving ahead while others are stuck in their grief. I get things done while others are not able. Then, after the crisis is over, I allow myself to experience the pain of grief. I understand grief, I've done it enough times and helped others through it. Somehow it feels familiar, but I still hate it!